A guy I hardly know asked me to a dance what do I do who do I talk to I don’t even know how to dance ouch I think my head just exploded!

ice breaking

NOT a recommended approach for breaking the ice

dear michele,

please please please help me! ok so my guy friend who i do not like like at all (only as a friend), asked me to a dance. the friend part is great. the problem is i’m a freshman and he’s a sophomore. i only hang out with him in certain places, not purposely but it just happens, so he knows all my friends but i know NONE of his. also, i’ve never been asked to a dance before ( in middle school no one asked anyone to dances, we just showed up, and a homecoming all of the boys were idiots and still hadnt gotten over the fact that they had to actually ASK girls to the dance because they never had to do that before). also i’ve never danced with a guy so i dont know what to do about that. ARGGGGG I NEED HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!

all your help is appreciated!!!!!
thanks you!!!!
love,
Dancetastrophy?

dear Dancetastrophy,

DON’T WORRY!
I know, easy for me to say, but I have Sound Reasons.
Really.

Okay first of all, its your date’s job to make sure you have a good time. Of course, he’s a boy and like 15 so he might mess that up but he invited you because he thinks you’ll be fun, so you should go in assuming it will be fun.
But I’m not sending you into Dance Dance Partyland with only that. Its the beginning of the night that is the hardest, so to help you through that I offer you the three C’s of Getting A Party Started Right:

COMPLIMENT: When you’re in a big group of people you don’t know, the easiest way to strike up a conversation with other girls is to compliment them on something they’re wearing or doing. Its best if this is a real compliment so pick someone whose purse or shoes or dress or necklace or hair you like and say “Your dress is sooooooo cute! I love how it…” This should break the ice.

CONFESS: You can do this step either once the ice is broken, or right off the bat. If one of the other girls or guys seems especially friendly, like smiling at you, you can say “I’m so nervous. This is my first ring dance.” Being open like that will make you feel better and will make them be extra nice to you. For real it always works. You can do this with your date as well, to remind him that he should be making sure to introduce you to people.

COPY: The dance floor is a Tower Of Terror for so many people but it doesn’t have to be. There are only three cardinal rules to good dancing: 1. Do not step on anyone 2. Have fun 3. Watch someone who’s got sweet moves and copy them.

Honestly, its that simple. Yes, for sure, there are people who are excellent dancers, they’re the ones you notice, but 98% of people are just average. The only way to be a truly dancelexic dancer is to cause injury to someone else requiring a hospital visit. Between being someone who could show up in a video, and someone who requires a 911 call, there’s a lot of room to maneuver.

If you can’t just jump into dancing, start by letting your head sway from one side to the other, then your hips, then maybe moving your feet–then watch what the people around you are doing and try to copy them. And don’t worry about looking silly: not only will worrying make you tense which will make you more likely to trip and cause the person behind you to stumble over a chair and fall to the floor tripping that girl in the Lucite platform shoes so that she shoots headfirst across the dance floor and plummets into Mrs. Wagner, the librarian, who is pushed into the refreshment table with a loud ‘CRASH!’ and requires three stitches on her hand where the punch bowl broke under it. For, um, example.

So not only could worrying do THAT (and I didn’t even get into the part about setting the decorations on fire. BY ACCIDENT! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!) but, like being cute and wearing Ugg boots, or eating a cupcake and being sad, worrying and having fun are Mutually Exclusive.

(Plus it is hard to smile when you are worried but you MUST smile because people are always taking pictures at dances and you don’t want to show up on someone’s Facebook page glowering. A dance is one night but Facebook is Forever. I’m just saying)

With these tips in your cute tiny purse, and a big non-worried smile on your face, you’ll be CCCavorting happily in zero seconds flat.

^^^^

Be dancetastic!

airkisses,
Dr. J

Need Advice? Mail your questions for publication to advice@michelejaffe.com. The doctor can't promise to answer them all, but she'll do her best. (By sending a question you grant permission to have it appear here. Letters may be edited. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. No blaming us later okay? Okay.)

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