I’m moving in the middle of the school year. Gulp.

lunhtimei-think-i-will-call-you-lunch-e1322729842434Hello pals! How awesome are you? I can tell you—very-slash-molto awesome. Have some advice!

Dr. J,

I’m going to be moving in a few weeks, and this makes a few problems for me.

1) I’m nervous about starting at a new school in the middle of the year… and I’m terrified about lunch, truthfully. What if no friendly person adopts me and I have nowhere to sit? eek!

2) the people that will be staying here when I leave:

a) my BestGuyFriend of five years who I’ve always liked and have gone out with: He’s been being a jerkface this year, and I wrote him a note telling him how he needs to shape up or I’m going to give up… and I think he is, shaping up that is.

b) DreamGuy- who I met forever and ever ago, and have been emailing back and forth with for over a year, but have only actually seen in person once. I reallyreally like him, and I think he *might* like me. I’m going to see him before I move, at a writing camp we both volunteer at, and I’m so stressed about it. I want to tell him how I feel (well, at least. I’ve wanted to kiss him for ever and ever, but I realize that that might not be the best greeting in the world), but I’m afraid it’ll backfire and I’ll end up landing on my butt. But I think it would be even worse to wonder for the rest of my life what if…

so, if you could help, that’d be great.

Trying to tie up loose ends

Dear Trying,

First, Lunch. Don’t worry, I know it can feel like a fishbowl with everyone watching you but one of three things will happen:
1. someone will say “come eat with us”
2. you’ll go up to someone you saw in a class or club and say “Hi, I’m new and I don’t know anyone, can I sit with you.”
3. you’ll join a club and after sitting by yourself reading a book for a few days you will have made friends to eat lunch with.

Generally the reason Lone Lunch feels frightening is because people think its embarrassing to not have friends, like wearing a sign that says “Ask Me About Being A Social Leper P.S. My Breath Smells.” I do not think this is true but even if you do, you have to admit that there’s nothing embarrassing about not having friends if you’re new in school. Right? Right! Which means announcing that fact when you walk up to people will remove the stigma. Plus it gives you something to talk about. (other things to talk about are how cute their pencil case is, how long they’ve known each other, what they think of some teacher, if there’s a good drama/dance/band/literary magazine program, what their favorite youtube is, etc.).

Second: JerkFace (aka BestGuyFriend)
He’s bummed your leaving and instead of dealing with it is treating you like poo so you can have a fight and not have to say goodbye. Nice work telling him to Shape or Ship. Keep it up. Friendships only work if you feel supported and cared for in them.

Finally: DreamGuy
Um, you like him and you only see him once a year which means both that you only get one shot at smoochies and also that if it goes horribly wrong you won’t have to face him afterwards. Which is a long way of saying: when you see him say “I’ve been wondering what it would be like to kiss you,” and take it from there.

Be bold, sassy and magnificent!

Dr. J

Need Advice? Mail your questions for publication to advice@michelejaffe.com. The doctor can't promise to answer them all, but she'll do her best. (By sending a question you grant permission to have it appear here. Letters may be edited. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. No blaming us later okay? Okay.)

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