Talking to guys

images-5Dr Jaffe,

Ohmigawwwd. Ok, so. There’s this really hawwwt guy who’s in my lunch. SuperHawtBoy is punk and ahhmazingly hot, but he’s shy. He’s always walking with and talking to a new emogirl every day and I’m sorta preppy now. SuperHawtBoy called me a PsychoBitch (in jest I hope) one day during lunch. Problem is, I don’t know how to talk to SuperHawtBoy, and his girls that he’s got all over him intimidate me so all I can do is stare at his ass and hair when he’s not looking. But it’d be nice to hold a conversation with him. What do I do?

Not PsychoBitch

Dear Not PsychoBitch,

Go up to him, smile and say, “ Why do you call me PsychoBitch? That’s a compliment right?” and take it from there.


Dear Dr. Jaffe,

I would greatly appreciate some advice concerning the conversation department. See, I’m a first year university student who finds it difficult to make new friends because I’m quite shy and I usually don’t know what to say to people. There’s a really good looking guy who sits beside me and I’ve tried thinking about something to say but all I can think of is, “Excuse me but do you know what the date is today?” Unfortunately it will be stupid if you ask something like that since we both have a class at 2:30 pm and he’ll wonder why it’s taken me until then to figure out the date. Can you give me some conversation starters? I desperately need something to “break the ice”!

Thanks for your help!

~Lost for Words

Dear Lost for Words,

Hmm, I wonder what could you—


Something like “Did you do the reading-slash-problem set” or “what did you think of the reading-slash-problem set” or “Eek I’m so behind on the reading-slash-problem set.” Then you can move on to “Hi, I’m The Person Of Your Dreams [or use your real name].” Follow that up with “Where do you live” and then “What’s your major” or “Where are you from” or “What year are you” and ask relevant questions from there.

If you are having a hard time thinking of questions, make it a game: force yourself to start each question with the next letter of the alphabet. So you go from “A lot of people seem to live in that dorm. Do you know [insert name of friend]?” to “Besides this class, what are you taking?” to “Cowabunga are you really a computer major?”
Only, you know, good.

But I bet you won’t have to turn to that. If you pay attention to what he’s saying, you’ll find the conversation flowing like a babbling brook.

Happy chatting!

Dr. J

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