what does “just friends” mean?


I don’t talk that way FYI.

Dear Michele,

A little over two weeks ago, I started noticing this guy. I got really intrigued, so I ended up introducing myself to him. We got along really well, and this past weekend I told him that I wanted to be honest with him and that I liked him. He said that he has a hard time trusting people, but that he feels like he can trust me, and even though he’d like to say he would date me he’s worried that if something happened between us it would ruin our friendship, and he’d hate that. And I said that I was okay with that, and that he could trust me. Except…what does this mean? Does he like me, and I should just wait it out and be the friend he needs? Or should I just give it up, and be the friend he needs? Is there potential here???
- Fully Into Dis One

Dear FIDO,
Woof. Woofwoof grrr arf grr.
Why am I writing in dog language? Because clearly you are living in dog years. Unless I’m misreading, everything you describe in your letter happened in only two weeks. You broached the walled heart of a man who has trust issues in two weeks? And you want more?

Which is to say: slow down, Fido! 2 weeks=14 days=nothing. But since you’ve been living in dog time, I suggest you ask yourself WWLD–What Would Lassie Do.
Here is what I came up with: Watch & Wait.

Lassie is loyal, and does not jump to conclusions. She would be his friend like you said you would. Plus even in the absence of something more, it sounds like what you have is a really fun companion who will make a great dance date, and Lassie loves to dance (they just never showed that part on the TV). It could be that he simply needs more time before he’s comfortable moving the relationship to the next level. I’d give him at least another three weeks (in human time) before feeling around the subject again.

But Lassie is also practical and aware that things aren’t always what they seem. So I suggest that while you’re W&Wing, you also be casually EYEing (Entertaining Your Eyeballs with) other romantic prospects, just in case his Trust Issues are of an insurmountable variety. By EYEing while you W&W, you give him space but don’t pin all your hopes and girlish dreams on him.

Go get him, lassie!


airkisses (the safest kind),

Dr. J

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