How serious is too serious, seriously?

Dearest Michele,

I’m a sophomore in High school and currently in a wonderful relationship with this guy. But I have a question. He’s my first love, one and only, Knight in Shining Armor–whatever you’d like to call it–however, I’m starting to kinda wonder about becoming genuinely serious with him. I mean, we’re beginning to already –talking bout moving in with each other after High school, getting married, having kids…the whole shebang and I really want to do all that but am I’m just wondering if I’m getting too far ahead of myself? Am I still too young to be pursuing in those sort of goals? Should I, as they say, try on a few more glass slippers before deciding on the one I truly want? I already feel that he’s the one for me and I wouldn’t dare to desert him but I don’t know if I’m making the right decision…following through on a good path in my journey of love. I would truly appreciate some advice on what would be good for me to do in this current phase in life. Thank you so much.

–Miss Desperately Confuzzled

Dear Desperately Confuzzled,

I am thrilled you are dating a nice boy. That is fantastique and also marvy. I think, though, that you should try to be more In The Moment rather than Planning For Retirement with it. Enjoy the relationship now, for what it is. Looking to the future like you’re doing is okay and probably fun, but its also unrealistic.

Yes, some people end up with their high school sweethearts, but that’s not always how the fairy tale goes. Don’t pin too much on that. Let the relationship take whatever course it takes naturally. It will know what to do. You just enjoy the ride and periodically check in with yourself to make sure you’re emotional and physical needs are being met.

Because I am very scholarly and, um, something, I’ve compiled some interesting statistics to compliment these last two letters. Where “I compiled” is code for “I copied them from the American Airlines magazine I read recently.” It is weirdly heterosexually focused, so we clearly need more data, but for now let’s look at the facts:

Average number of women that a man will kiss before settling down: 24
Average number of men that a woman will kiss: 17.5
Average age of girls at first kiss: 14
Average age of guys: 16-18

Which leads to the following analysis (and no, I do not know how you kiss point five of a guy): 1. most people have more than one relationship or at least kissing partner in their lives; 2. Girls start kissing earlier, but they kiss fewer people than guys. Which is a disparity that I think you should all remedy. It also suggests that girls are more libel to be in long term relationships. Perhaps even with guys who are kissing other girls.

My conclusion: Kiss when you feel ready, enjoy what you have as it comes, and if you see a half-guy KISS HIM!

old-spice

smooch!

That is all for today, dumplings of joy. airkisses,

Dr. J

Need Advice? Mail your questions for publication to advice@michelejaffe.com. The doctor can't promise to answer them all, but she'll do her best. (By sending a question you grant permission to have it appear here. Letters may be edited. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. No blaming us later okay? Okay.)

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