Why can’t I talk to guys I like?!?!

Hi Michele,

Well, I have a big crush on a guy right now and I don’t really know what to do about it. He and I are in choir together but we don’t get to talk that often, since we’re in different sections. He’s a year older than me, so he’s not in any of my classes, and I rarely see him in the hallways. I feel like I don’t even get a chance to talk to him… and furthermore, I wouldn’t know what to say. I am possibly the worst flirt in the entire world, and I get really quiet around the guys I like.

I know you’ve suggested things in the past like inviting them on a group date, but he and I don’t really have any mutual friends, so I’m not sure how that would work.

Any advice would be mucho appreciated!

I like a Choir Boy

Dear I like a Choir Boy,

“I get shy around people I like” has been a regular theme recently here in Adviceopolis, so before getting onto your case SPECIFICALLY, I want to present the Single Dose Adviceopolis cure for I-Like-This-Person-And-Therefore-Cannot-Speak-To-Them-Itis:

Instead of thinking “I want to date this person and ride around on milk white ponies with them forever” think, “This person seems nice, I wonder if we could be friends.”

First, because this will take the pressure off of talking to them.
Second, because its true: if you haven’t really talked to the person, you don’t know if you want to go on Sunset Pony Rides with them because you don’t even know what they are really like. They might not even be worthy of your tongue tiedness!

Okay, fine, you’re saying. But you still need a way to talk to your Choir Boy, even if you’re not thinking of him as a Pony Rider (much). Don’t worry, we have your back on that too. Voila:

1. Make cookies
2. Give them out at choir
3. Smile and say “Hey” in a flirty way when you give him his
4. Later on, ask how he liked his cookie.
5. Then ask something about your choir teacher (why does s/he wear frilly socks; does s/he have a toupee; what his/her favorite Justin Timberlake song is)
6. Repeat number 5 as often as possible until you are comfortable talking to him
7. Say “hey want to get coffee after school some time.”
8. Get to know him better and decide if you like him.

Done and done!


Be TNTerrific!

Dr. J

Need Advice? Mail your questions for publication to advice@michelejaffe.com. The doctor can't promise to answer them all, but she'll do her best. (By sending a question you grant permission to have it appear here. Letters may be edited. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. No blaming us later okay? Okay.)

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply