on younger men

I have a really,really great guy friend. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling that he likes me and my friends tell me they think he likes me. And I think we would make a good couple; I’m always laughing when he’s around, and I generally have a great feeling about myself when I talk to him. I’ve known him for several months, and we’ve been on “group dates”. But here’s the glitch: He’s a year younger than I am. Technically 10 months, but close enough. I’m looking for a relationship where I can fall back on the guy, that he would be the person to protect me and guide me. I get the feeling that it should be the other way around in this situation, since I’m the older one. Do you think this is something I should be doing, or should I look for someone my own age, maybe a tiny bit older?
—Rocking the cradle?

Dear Rocking,
Let’s see: he’s nice, he makes you laugh, he makes you feel good about yourself. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT DATE HIM! NOT THE NICE SWEET GUY! NO!
I am trying reverse psychology on all of you. Is it working?

Okay, here is the thing:
1. Ten months is not really an age difference. So what if he’s a tiny bit younger than you?

2. However, if you’re looking for a relationship where you can ‘fall back on the guy, that he would be the person to protect and guide’ you, then you have way bigger problems than his age. Your problem is that you are a time traveller from 1956 (cute poodle skirt!). Because here in the Modern Era, that is not what relationships are for.

I am a fan of Life in the Modern Era because we have texting and Cinnabuns and stretch leather (how do they do that? how?!?). Oh and also because today relationships are about making you feel strong enough in yourself to take on challenges. People protect *one another* in relationships. Teachers and parents and Bono and maps are for guiding. Boyfriends and girlfriends are for encouraging and inspiring. And it sounds like this guy does exactly that to you. So if you are going to be staying among us in 2006, go for it! Fly free! Have fun! Ask him out!
(That is not reverse psychology)

That’s all for today my little marshmallow peep pals. Be brave!

Dr. J

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