Ho no you don’t

Dr . Jaffe,

So I like this guy. Once my friend randomly walked up to him (because I was so obsessing over him) and asked him for his AIM s/n. In the last few months I’ve had about 6 hour long conversations with him on IM. Since then, I talked to him once again (in person) and it was a short conversation.

So here’s my questions:
1. Should i say hi to him when he’s not looking directly at me (cuz i think he gets nervous… like he’s REALLY SHY)
2. HOW DO I FREAKING TALK TO HIM? i never have the balls to just GO UP THERE AND DO IT and i am normally such an extrovert. I’m scared of his friends i guess, cuz when I see him he’s always with them.

i don’t even know why I like this kid. HE IS SUCH A NERD!!! but i am so obsessed with him (and his ass cuz he wears girl pants ^.^ ) … i don’t know.. he’s not fake at all; he’s very sincere and genuine. he represents reality to me and i just love that.

i mean should i wear slutty clothes or something to get his attention? how do i talk to him?

-Crazy About Him

Dear CAH,
It sounds like you have found a Hidden Treasure boy, a special boy who might not even know how hot he is, and I think you should absolutely and definitely wear slutty clothes—if you are trying to scare him and get him to flee into the hills like a terrified squirrel. If, however, your more interested in dating him, step away from the lace up bodice and mega-mini. The key thing is to find a way to be more yourself when you’re around him, not more Little Ho Peep.

To answer your questions:
1. You should say “hi” to him whenever you are near him, even if he isn’t looking at you. You can even say something like “Hi, hotstuff,” or whatever you would say to your regular friends.
2. The best way to make it easier to talk to him is to pretend he is just one of your regular friends. But it could be hard to fool your mind into that, so in the meantime, do these things: first, think of some questions about things you know he’s interested in, or even just jokey things to ask him AND his friends. You can even pretend you’re taking a survey (check out the CIAO program Part I–located in this blog’s archives on 1-29-06–and the BAD program for some specific ideas about how to approach this). Practice asking them about a million times in the mirror at home until you are totally bored of them, so saying them will like saying “Yes, mom, this is black lipstick and no, I don’t see anything wrong with this outfit” or whatever phrase you find yourself saying daily. Then, when you’re going to talk to him, take like 10 deep breaths. This will relax you and also make you a little light headed so you won’t know what you’re doing. Ha ha just kidding about being lightheaded. Mostly.

But really, you have nothing to worry about: since you have no problem IMing with him, you clearly have a lot to talk about. All you have to do is get over the initial hurdle of feeling freaked out about starting a conversation. And stay out of Sluterella’s closet.

airkisses & ehugs,

Dr. J

Need Advice? Mail your questions for publication to advice@michelejaffe.com. The doctor can't promise to answer them all, but she'll do her best. (By sending a question you grant permission to have it appear here. Letters may be edited. Advice is for entertainment purposes only. No blaming us later okay? Okay.)

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