How To Kiss

Hi Dr. Jaffe!

I’m 16, and I’ve been kissed, but I’ve never really been kissed. (As in, beyond a peck on the lips.) I’m all for experience, however, the problem is that I’m afraid that I won’t know what to do when the opportunity to “get experienced” rolls around, as far as actual kissing goes. So I’m nervous about getting experience because I’m afraid that it will show that I’m inexperienced. (It’s really very circular.) I realize this is not very important in the long run, and if a guy doesn’t like me because of my make-out skills (or lack thereof) I shouldn’t be after him, but any…well…technical advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Left Behind

Dear Left Behind,
Which one of these things doesn’t belong: basketball, ballet, soccer, ice skating, dance dance party revolution, kissing?

That’s right: KISSING. Know why? Because all those other things require practice to get good at them. But not kissing. Kissing is one of those things like eating or talking: it comes naturally. You were kissing before you were talking.

So don’t worry. When the serious kissing starts, your lips will know what to do. (And your tongue will catch on too, if its invited. Which you’ll know because another tongue will issue the invitation by trying to make contact.).

To have a great kiss, all you have to remember is FRESH.

F is for FRESH BREATH: make sure your mouth is clean and delicous tasting by brushing or having a breath mint
R is for RELAX: don’t tense up, and remember to breathe.
E is for EYES: gaze deeply into the eyes of your kissee until your lips touch, then close your peepers and let yourself gooooo
S is for SMOOTH: smooth, well moisturized lips are nicest to kiss. Use a lip balm or gloss before kissing.
H is for HEAD: As you move in for the kiss, tilt your head to one side or the other to avoid Nose-Bumb. (But even if Nose-Bump happens, it’s still fine.)

But the number one most important thing for a great kiss is to like the person you are kissing. The best kisses are not the fanciest ones, they are the ones between two people who are into each other. And don’t be alarmed if your kiss is a little awkward—in my experience, the funnest and most memorable kisses are the ones that make you laugh.

(p.s. you can also practice kissing the back of your hand if you want to, just to see what different kinds of pressure or speed feel like. But honestly, you have nothing to worry about.)


Dr. J

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