FAQ

When did you start writing?

I wrote my first book–about an eight year old girl named Michele Jaffe whose cruel parents send her to the store where she gets kidnapped by mobsters driving stretch limos and the whole world mourns her and work pretty much grinds to a halt because no one can see what they are doing through their veils of tears–when I was, coincidentally, eight. That was really my masterpiece. After something like that you can’t just leap into the next project so I took twenty years off before trying my hand at fiction again (which I did when I was finishing graduate school and desperate not to become a professor because I look very bad in tweed.)

Are you anything like your heroine, Jasmine?

I.
Wish.
The only thing Jas and I have in common is being flat chested, and she still has a chance to grow out of that, whereas me? I have accepted Life As A Tongue Depressor. Totally accepted it. Not bitter at all. Oh also we both have large and crazy hair. When I walk by flyers for missing cats or hamsters or puppies I always pause to pat down my hair because that is the kind of thing it is capable of. I am pretty sure it is plotting to take over the world.

Where do you get your ideas and inspiration from?

Sparkly shoes and tacos mainly. I believe these are the tools the idea elves use to communicate with me. Because when I am stuck on something, if I just put on my sparkly shoes and dance around for a bit, BOOM!, an idea comes. And then if I have a taco! Wow! No stopping me.

Idea elves are the only real explanation. That, or I am hearing voices in my head. And I think they like to give you medication for that.

(Also I eavesdrop on people’s conversations at the gym. I know that is wrong, but I cannot stop myself.)

What are your top 3 tips to becoming a successful author?

1. Write.
2. Keep writing.
3. Take taco break, then write some more.

Honestly, I think the hardest thing about being a writer is just making yourself sit down and write every day. The discipline to do that is the single most important thing a writer needs. After sparkly shoes, I mean.

What are your hobbies?

Driving really fast
Shopping at Betsey Johnson
Shopping at Agent Provocateur
Shopping at Nanette Lapour
Shopping at BCBG
Shopping at Fornarina
Shopping at Max and Co
Shopping at that kiosk in the mall where they sell nail decals
Shopping at Sephora
Shopping at Serge’s Showgirl Wigs
Shopping at Bendels
Shopping at Fred Segal BeDazzling
Eating tacos
Eating hamburgers
Eating ice cream
Eating chocolate cake with gooey inside
Pink champagne
Wax museums
16th Century encryption manuals
Climbing walls (as a noun, not a verb. For example: the Climbing Wall at the Canyon Ranch Spa at the Venetian, rather than ‘climbing the walls of my office.’ Although I guess that applies too)
Indoor Sky
Diving
Dance
Dance Party
Revolution
Attending the rodeo
Arguing with people about whether or not there was a Shakespeare
Watching TV (especially Forensics Files)
Watching more TV (especially Pimp My Ride)
Movies featuring The Rock
The Clapper
Tom Jones
Staying out late dancing
VIP passes to night clubs
Stories about space plagues or giant squids

Basically I am quite boring. Although I do have a disco ball in my dining room.

If you hadn’t been a writer what do you think you would have been?

Rollerderby queen! Michele the Menace would be my name and my adversaries would quake with fear as I roared toward them. And I would wear pink satin shorts and my skates would have silver glitter lightening bolts on them.

For my day job, I would probably do something like neurosurgeon or lion tamer.

Will there be more Bad Kitty books?

I hope so, but due to Circumstances Outside My Control, there aren’t any scheduled right now.

Will you ever write more historical romances and books about the Arboretti?

Yes! Soon! Ish!

What is your favorite color?

Sparkle

What products do you use on your hair?

Deva Curl

How can I tell if a boy likes me?

Read my blog!

I want to be a writer too. Any advice?

Virginia Woolf said for a woman to survive she needs five hundred pounds and a room of her own. I think she’s right (that’s about $50,000 in modern money) so I would suggest going to college and getting a job. Creating is HUNGRY work and you need to be able to eat.

What should I eat exactly?

I suggest tacos but you could also have pizza. Er, I mean vegetables and protein snacks (no I don’t actually. But you should eat responsibly).

(Also exercise because it is important to keep blood flowing to the brain).

(And to be able to fit comfortably your desk chair.)

(By the way, groovy dance moves count as exercise–they do too!–and if you make up an ace routine that will come in handy at parties and discos and table tops should you find yourself in either of those)

(THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT ADVOCATE THE USE OF TABLETOPS FOR DANCING.– Michele’s Lawyer)

What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Getting to murder people without having to clean up afterwards.

What’s your least favorite thing about writing?

The days when it feels like my brain is filled with dried up porridge and I cant seem to get a word out. And when I say days I mean sometimes weeks or even months. Writer’s block sTiNkS.

What are you working on next?

I am so excited about my next project. Its a kind of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX with a XXXXXXXX and a XXXXXXXXX. I know right?

And then in the last part XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! Seriously. Hold on to your hats.